I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
