Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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