Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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