im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
