Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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