i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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