So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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