He is an equal opportunity slut.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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