I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
