Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
