I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
We named our party play list daddy issues
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
