You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
