I wish I could teleport
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Randomize
