He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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