I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
