An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
