Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
