Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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