Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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