If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
