I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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