Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
