he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
