Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
