I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
