ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
