I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
