I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
