He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
