apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm way too hungover for life right now
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
