do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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