Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We have started to decorate penises.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
