There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
