toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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