Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
