we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
