After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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