I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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