Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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