Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
