And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
