I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
The adults are the big ones right?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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