I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Your dad touched me again.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize