cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
