I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
