We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
