what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
