I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize