I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
