I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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