this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
