Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize