I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
