I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
