What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
sex in a hospital.. check
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
